Managing Expectations and Building Long-Term Relationships
You’ve learned how the recruiting business works and how executive recruiters are incentivized. Now it’s time to turn that knowledge into action. In the 3rd part of our series on working with recruiters, we’ll explore how to build productive, mutually beneficial relationships and how to ensure every conversation helps, even when it’s not about a specific role.
Building Effective Relationships with Executive Recruiters
What should you expect from this relationship? The answer depends on the type of recruiter you’re working with; executive search versus in-house vs contingency; but all should be able to help you assess whether a role is truly right for you. At minimum, they should be able to:
- Provide an overview of the team and hiring manager, including team dynamics
- Clarify whether the role is new or a replacement or why it’s open
- Outline key responsibilities and deliverables
- Describe the culture—what enables success and what tends to derail people
- Explain the recruitment process and how best to prepare
- Offer guidance on negotiating your compensation package
If the recruiter or firm has represented the client before, they should also be able to share historical context: how the organization has evolved, what challenges it’s facing, and insights into the management style of the hiring leader.
As a candidate, you should ask about these before deciding whether to continue the conversation. One of the most common mistakes I see job seekers make is failing to ask enough questions about culture and the hiring manager. The hiring manager effectively becomes your first sponsor: someone who will shape not only your performance but also your trajectory in the organization. And culture can be the single most important determinant of your long-term success. Don’t just ask about the role; ask about the environment you’ll be stepping into.
Strong recruiters act as advisors, not brokers: transparent about where you stand, generous with insights to help you prepare, and thoughtful advocates during client discussions.
What Recruiters Are Assessing About You
Recruiters, of course, also have expectations. Whether fair or not, here’s what they’re usually evaluating:
- Alignment between your experience and the job requirements
- Your career goals and how they fit the opportunity
- Your long-term potential and growth path
- Soft skills—communication, influence, stakeholder management, and change agility
- Leadership style, if you manage people
- Cultural fit with the team and the hiring manager
- Compensation expectations
Be ready to discuss these topics if a recruiter reaches out about a role. If you’re exploring opportunities confidentially, make that clear early in the conversation so the recruiter can manage outreach discreetly.
On compensation: recruiters typically have a defined range and know where there’s room for flexibility. While you may not want to disclose exact numbers early in the process, it helps to set expectations upfront. If your compensation includes equity, long-term incentives, or significant unvested stock you’d forfeit, share that early—it prevents misunderstandings later.
When Recruiters Reach Out for Referrals
Recruiters may contact you not for a role, but for referrals. They may know you’re overqualified, underqualified, or not interested in the location, but still value your network. My advice: take the call. It’s another way to stay visible. Be professional, concise, and helpful.
However, if you find that certain recruiters only reach out for referrals and never for potential opportunities, it’s fine to reset expectations, “I’m always happy to share names when I can, but I’d also appreciate hearing about roles that might align more closely with my background.”
This keeps the relationship balanced and signals that your time and expertise are valuable too.
Staying Top of Mind
Relationships with recruiters are long games. If there isn’t an immediate fit, stay in touch periodically with relevant updates. For example, if you’ve taken on a new role, driven a major transformation, or entered a new market segment. A short, thoughtful note once or twice a year can keep you top of mind when the right search emerges. (A caveat: in-house recruiters will likely not be able to respond to this kind of outreach as they don’t always support the same teams or have the bandwidth for this type of interaction.)
Final Thoughts
Remember that an experienced recruiter is often your internal advocate with the client, translating your experience and impact into language that resonates with the hiring committee.
While working with recruiters can be, at times, confusing or even frustrating, they can also be valuable allies. A strong relationship with two or three trusted recruiters can keep you informed about the market, open doors to roles you wouldn’t otherwise find, and even serve as a sounding board as you navigate transitions.
It’s all about managing expectations—both theirs and yours. And now you know how turn this understanding into a lasting professional advantage.
